journal entry: annoyed.....

so iv been trying to do stuff on the computer
and get stuff done when
 someone kept telling me to get to work.
every time i went off and checked my account
 they kept saying that i needed to stop foolong around.
i explained to her plainly as i could
that i was working on art credict.
with a roll of her eyes,
and a shake of her head, she said with a sneer,
"your always working on that. let me on there instead."
on the outside i replied as calmley as could be,
"no thank you. i think ill be fine."
while on the inside i was a raging storm.
i wanted to scream and holler,
to tell her to go to h#*$,
and most importantley to 'accidently',
push her off the edge of a massive cliff.
but i can control my anger and ,
not say a word to upset the annoying flower.

current event and journal entry: terra nova closing?

my mom and i were driving home when my mom told me that Terra nova was closing.
i was surprised. 
and confused.
why were they trying to use that trick again?
you see in  October they were telling us Terra nova was closing. everyone was upset. but then in the middle of the day they told us it wasn't really closing. we were all mad and told them if they ever did tell us it was closing then we would never believe them. well apparently it was closing this time. when i got to school i saw everyone was sad and well.... depressed. i felt like i could swim in all the depressing atmosphere. i quickly sat next to Avery and looked around. normally you would see everyone smiling and laughing and kidding around, but this news, this sad stupid news, had changed everything. the normally chatty upperclassmen were silent as a blank canvas. our normally happy teachers, weakly smiled and tried to say something positive about the situation, but it was obvious that they were as broken as the rest of us. even my hyper super positive happy go lucky group of freshman's were speechless. they all just sat there and looked like broken dolls. barley holding on. Kurt, one of the upperclassmen, just looked pissed off. i swear if he put any more pressure to his teeth they would shatter like glass.
i sat there not knowing what to do next.
cry?
no i hate crying, and i think people would stare.
scream?
defiantly not. everyone would glare at me.
tell the principle off?
maybe...
i sat there gathering My thoughts trying to figure out what to say. Kate began speaking telling us something but i wasn't listening. i tried to get exactly what i wanted to say.
should i talk about how this isent just a school but a family?
should i talk about how wrong they are about closing this school?
should i talk about the reasons they cant close the school without giving us students a fair vote?
my thoughts were inturupted with andrew talking. well, i guess its time to hear how others feel. i tried to listen carfully, but i kept jumping back to the inside of my head.
then i heard them call my name.
what am i supposed to say?! im not ready! gah! people are staring....
i felt my lips move and words tumble out before i could stop them.
"p-pass..."
i punched myself internally...
crap. now i cant say anything.
---
will continue later....

journalentry: animations

hi. its monica.

i decided that i wanted to talk about animation. i have been messing around with some animations that i have been working on. for example:  

i worked on this for about 20-30 minutes. i dont know the exact time because ive had to do chores and go to other classes, excedra.

here is the base:

 this is not mine. someone let me use this. here is the link:

http://yo-angie.deviantart.com/art/Run-Run-Run-base-D-282504342 

i do do animations that are mine (which i will show in a moment.).

so anyways it takes a long time to color and reshape these because you first have to know what you want to do. this is a charecter i made up. her name is melonpop... cause she looks like a watermelon but also has lolipopish colors. i used this site to make the animation (i kinda use it for all of them ^-^' ):

http://iaza.com/ 

its hard to do animation because you have to do frame by frame..... and you have to make sure you make it move, but make it similar. it would probabley take me weeks to do just a 20 minute animation. the thing that helps me with an animation is usually to make sure that im not just doing it. id probably look like this if i just sat there doing just the animation:

 wow that is scary :|  anyways i think if you have music on or you also have a friend to help you out and give you suggestions then youll be ok.

another thing, if your using paint then make sure you try not to mess up so much. cause it only lets you 'undo' three times. i also think its good to put your drawings next to eachother and compare. it really helps out. also if your using iaza, make sure that the drawings are the same size.or else it will look bad... trust me o.o .

ok here are some more animations ive done:

 

 

current events: model with natural 20 inch waist

i was looking around online when i all of a sudden i saw this picture:

i gasped and looked into it. i read this article and was very shocked. in the article it talks about, Ioana Spangenberg, a model who has a natural 20 inch waist. it talks about how she was and outsider her whole life because of the fact that she lived in Italy and how in Italy it was good to be fat and that while her friends went out and had a blast she would sit all alone at home eating a bunch of food wishing she would gain weight. she hated her body and would always stay home trying her best to gain weight. but then her husband and her met and he said that she looked perfect just the way she was. she modeled some pics for him and he was so impressed that he put them on the Internet. with some support she decided to become a model.
i was very sad hearing about how she couldn't gain wait and how she struggled, but was kinda disgusted at the fact that she became a model. ya i think its nice she feels good but its just gross that they think that its beautiful to look this way.

current event: sweet letter to foot ball star

http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/nfl-shutdown-corner/awwww-read-seven-old-heart-melting-letter-kyle-214810120.html

this article was about a little seven yearold boy. he was watching the play off, when he saw the famous football star, kyle williams, fumble in the game. owen shure, the little boy, cried and cried asking why he fumbled. his father asked him if he felt so bad than how did he think kyle felt? owen stopped and asked if he could write kyle a letter.
this is the letter:

it says:
Dear Mr. Williams:
We just watched the Playoff game. I feel really bad for you but I wanted to tell you that you had a great season. you sould be very proud, so I wanted to say thank you.
I am your #1 FAN!

i thought this was super cute and just wanted to share this to you all.

journal entry: the story

CHAPTER THREE

I sipped my cup of coffee and stared out into the twilight sky. It was the middle of autumn. The air cold and crisp, sometimes it was hard to breath because it was so frigid. The leaves seemed to dance in the air as they fell onto the lawn. I stared wondering why they chased me. They knew I wouldn’t give them the money, house, or land that her grandfather left for her. Originally I couldn’t touch it. I had been only 7 then so I couldn’t exactly have all of it to myself. My parents tried to 'keep it safe', so I decided to have all the money hidden and make sure the land and house were out of their hands. Pretty smart for a seven year old. My parents finally got to the final straw and ordered me to either give them the money or I would go on the streets homeless. So I left. I got onto a plane and flew to Oregon, where the house and land and well, everything was. And after that things just kind of went well. My parents didn't know where to look so I was safe from them. And no one was suspicious of the fact that I never had my parents go to conferences and such. I supposed they thought I was a foster child or homeless. I think it was mostly they didn't care because my grades are great and I never skipped or gotten in trouble. 

I sat up straight and got off the windowsill. I had to get out of the house. I grabbed my coat and tried not to slip on all the papers on the floor. My room was full of papers, books, and magazines. And notes. My computer was sitting there beckoning me to come and do what I have been doing ever since I got here. 

Research.

And it was all about the mysterious figure known as 'death'. There had been hundreds maybe thousands of sites about it. But most of it was fake. People just thought it would be fun to scare people or wanted attention or just did it out of boredom. But after a few years, I was able to see truth and lies about it. The ones who lied said you could see a skeleton or person or even a demon, in a dark cloak made of shadow and a scythe. The truth was when they described the findings of a shadowed figure. Nothing else. 

I picked up my black leather purse, my keys to the car, and my leather sports jacket. I had a black undershirt and a pair of holey jeans. Not the best outfit for a winter night drive/walk but I didn’t have time to think of the details. I got into my deep blue 1967 Mustang and drove off to the mountains. I loved the mountains. All the wooded areas, animals, and most importantly: away from all the noise. And it helped out that Oregon had them all over the place, so many trees, so far I hadn’t been anywhere where there wasn’t a tree. 

I drove first to the Human Bean. It is by far the best coffee place ever. I checked the prices and sighed. Damn, coffee was definitely not cheap though. Well at least I didn’t need to pay tax like the other states. I paid for my coffee and almost dropped my chocolate covered coffee bean on the way out of the drive thru.  I sipped my coffee, my eyes tearing up from the fact that I burned my tongue doing so. I set my coffee in the cup holder and looked at the street signs.  

Huh?

I turned around and drove back. I stopped across the street and looked at the sign again. What the hell am I doing on Murray?

 I got out my map from the glove box. I had marked where I live and how to get to my favorite spot in the mountains. I had memorized it by now so I never needed to take it out. Until now.

“Maybe I took a wrong turn…” 

I started my car and drove back to the human bean. It wasn’t the fact that I took a wrong turn. What bothered me was the fact that Murray was 3 miles away from my house. This had only happened once, but it was understandable. I was very tired from a night of studying late and had fallen asleep at the wheel. When I woke up, I found myself in the middle of a field in Roseburg. The police told me that I had probably ‘sleep drove’-whatever that is. I didn’t believe it at first but then my friend Trisha said it had once happened to her while she was driving back from a party. Though she didn’t end up in the middle of nowhere. But this…this is just weird. I shivered and just drove back the way I had come. 

I made sure that I was paying attention to every road and highway I was on and about to turn on.  I relaxed when I saw that I was on highway 26.  I picked up my now cold coffee and sipped. No need to waste something delicious-and expensive. The only light visible was my headlights and the moon, which disappeared behind the tall pine trees. The stars were barley visible with the dark gray/blue clouds that were spread out and very wispy. The trees looked black in the dark.

Oh what I wouldn’t do to have a camera…

It was sad. Any other artist would have come here for the beauty of the mountains and the fact that at night it was full of mystery and wonderment. But sadly my art was mostly of shadows and darkness (shadowy figure mystery much?). I wasn’t really the type of artist that was into the light of the day. Nocturnal beast is what some people called me on Deviant Art (my lawyer, who used to be my Grandpa’s, suggested I did something that was ‘normal’ for a seventeen year old artist.) I didn’t get it but I did get a bunch of badges at Deviant. 

 I sighed turning on my c.d. player. I would calm down better if I listened to some Get Scared. I hummed to the song ‘voodoo’ and drank the rest of my coffee. I thought about all the times my Grandpa and me had gone up these mountains. I remembered this one instance where he and I had been trying to find this doe and her little fawn. Instead we had found a fox’s nest. The mother had given the cubs a goose to eat and they were now playing with the feathers.  One of them had fallen and then attacked one of the others. They wrestled around for a little bit until the mother started to make a yipping sound. I scanned to see where she was looking and saw a bear. I stared, scared, and started shaking. My Grandpa put a hand on my shoulder, and put his index finger on his lips. I nodded and followed him. We were fine, until we saw that we had been followed. I sighed and turned up the music. Memories weren’t the best way to keep your mind off the rest of the world. 

I was nearing the top of the mountain when all of a sudden I saw an orange glow up ahead. I squinted and tried to get a better view of it and gasped. I stomped on the brake and got out my car. I ran up ahead and then came to a sudden halt. I stared, eyes widening. I had never seen a car crash like this. The smell of burning rubber was strong, and almost overpowering. The flames crackled and seemed to swallow the car. The metal looked black and crackled, the paint gone long ago. I took a couple of slow steps forward, which turned into a sprint. The splintering heat touched my skin as I got closer. I looked around franticly for any signs of life. The heat was burning into my very being. My sweat was slicking down my face and my eyes searching, hoping for the person in this terrible crash to have survived. Then, I saw him. In between the flames and road, blood underneath him.

I started toward him, when the car exploded. 

I turned seeing everything in slow motion. 

The car exploding.

My turning and staring.

And then, I’m thrown back.

Everything is pain. 

A piece of metal zooms pass, grazing my skin. 

I am bleeding.

 I try to get up. 

I’m shaking.

Boom!

I am thrown back again. Another explosion? This time a piece of burning metal hits me dead on. It hits me in the side. I scream with pain. Tears flow heavily down my face.

IT BURNS! MAKE IT STOP! 

MAKE THE PAIN STOP! 

OH GOD, MAKE IT STOP!!!

I try to move as far as I can from the remains of the exploding car. But then one more deafening boom. This time I know that I wont survive. I stare as the metal speeds toward me.

“I don’t want to die.” I say. 

Then I close my eyes, ready for the pain. But it doesn’t come. Instead I feel myself being lifted up from the ground and then embraced by a pair of strong arms. I am against their chest. After a few minutes I feel their arms set me down.  I try to see who it is but everything is fading. I only see the shadow of a man. I gasp out “you saved me… thank y-“ 

I cry out from the pain in my side. I feel cool finger touch my lips.

“ Don’t talk. Just rest. You need to save your energy…” the voice was deep but light. Smooth yet rough. It was comforting, but haunting. And…

I heard a whimper. It took me a minute to figure out it had come from me. The last thing I heard was the voice. I couldn’t make out what they had said but I remember feeling calm. Right before I passed out I remembered what else the voice sounded like:

Lonely.

current event: lottery winner almost forgot to turn in winning lottery ticket

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/46101754/

in this article, Napolean Elvord was going on with his days when he found out that he may have a winning ticket. but he didn't now at first about this because he got the days mixed up for the announcement of the megabucks winner. the clerks at the store had been asking him if he was the winner. so he went straight home and found the little slip of paper sitting right there on the counter. he picked it up and ran over to the Wisconsin Lottery office to see if it was real. the people at the lottery office had never once been asked whether or not a ticket was a winner or not. they stared at him, a 50 year old man, and asked "is this real?'. he told them his story, and though they were skeptical he had witnesses. they gave him the money and he felt relieved and very wealthy. he decided he would put most of his money in his health account, needing a kidney, and also decided to give money to selling houses for people who need it most.

i thought this article ironic and funny in its own way. i liked the fact he didn't noticed that he had a winning ticket until 3 days after the announcement.