spinning in a circle
what am i going to do?
don't wanna see reality
but the adults keep shouting
"if you don't stop now,
you wont be able to see
the truth from the lies."
but i spin on and on
reality and time wont ever catch me!
i'm the one who doesn't listen to reason
i'm the one who laughs at despair
i'm the one who spins in a circle,
i am now barely fifteen
and i'm still spinning
ill never tire and ill never stop
but then i did
it was only one moment
only one moment
but i stopped to see you watching me
i smiled and kept spinning
my world collapsed that day
my ears are bleeding
hearing truth and lies
i'm hurting inside
could this be reality?
you stand and a smile cracks
onto your crazed face
you weren't the person i thought you were
i'm the one who doesn't listen to reason
i'm the one who laughs at despair
i'm the one who spins in a circle,
....
this is the end.
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Sunday, April 22, 2012
journal 2: FLIPPPY!!!
http://www.flipppy.com/czm3pr
here is one of my flipppy's i have made! take a look at all of them! :D
(Kate, don't look at them if your at school cause its connected to Facebook soooo.... yeah the school computers probably wont let you go in the first place....)
Saturday, April 21, 2012
journal 1: quotes of the day APR, 21, 2012
quotes from: Jeff
"do you wanna know why mom left the house? BECAUSE SHE IS SICK AND TIRED OF THIS HOUSE BEING A MESS! AND ALL YOU DO ALL DAY IS SIT AROUND AND DO NOTHING!"
"so your just gonna sit there and write and do nothing? thanks mo... THANKS A LOT..."
"you could ask mo... but she's being LAZY and writing and sitting around..."
Jeff to Tyler outside.
"YOU ARE SUCH A BRAT!"
"did it mean anything to you when you went to the temple last night? or was it all for show?"
"i'm going to call the bishop and tell him that you dont get to go to the temple untill you learn to be a better daughter..."
*this is all true. i right them as soon as they escape peoples lip's.
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
poem
Flying through the air like a bird
I have feathers but no wings
I am a plants best friend
I can feed many people
But I can kill without a sound
I am stealthy
I am fast
I am a sport
But I am an honor
I need attention and getting used to
What am I?
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
grrrr....
i hate being late.
i really do.
but no one believes me!
they say,
" you need to be more responsible."
and
" you can only blame yourself,
for what happens in the future."
i want to cry out,
ITS NOT MY FAULT!
but does anyone care?
nope.
sigh...
maybe i should just get up in the morning,
if i really want to go to school on time...
i really do.
but no one believes me!
they say,
" you need to be more responsible."
and
" you can only blame yourself,
for what happens in the future."
i want to cry out,
ITS NOT MY FAULT!
but does anyone care?
nope.
sigh...
maybe i should just get up in the morning,
if i really want to go to school on time...
Monday, April 9, 2012
song? ... maybe
Just me you friendly emo Kidd JL
I run.
I jump and spin.
I’m sad.
Crying rainbow tears.
They turn to stone.
Hitting the pavement.
Breaking upon impact.
Sit in a corner.
All alone.
As usual.
Put on a smile.
It’s just a mask.
You’ll never know my true feelings.
If you did would you really even care?
Making everyone happy.
It my job.
As I sob.
But that’s only when I’m alone.
Can’t you see and understand?
No you really cant.
If you knew the real me
You’d know better then to trust me.
Run.
Jump.
Spin.
Murder.
The killing.
Of my soul.
Don’t be sad.
Its just my fate not yours.
So smile.
And love your life.
Thursday, April 5, 2012
journal 2
i walked over to the stair's, edging toward the rocking chair. i saw Lucas and smiled.
"hey Lucas! why don't you join me and Avery?"
he looked up from his long curly brown hair. his big brown eyes looked at me for a moment and then away quickly. he turned and walked into the commons, his hand in his black sweatshirt pockets. i shrugged mentally and sat in the rocking chair. Avery sat across from me her curly amber/brown hair bouncing. i looked at her and thought about lucas's strange behavior.
"hey do you know whats wrong with lucas?"
avery shrugged,"i dont know..."
i sighed and thought out loud,"maybe he hates me..."
avery frowned and shook her head,"no he doesnt!"
i looked down and shrugged muttering "it wouldnt be the first time..."
i crossed my legs and started to eat my chili and chips. the spices and beans, swirled in my mouth, the chips crunching and the salt exploding with flavor and then the taste of corn. yummy. i ate some more and saw Lucas sit down ,a couple steps away from Avery, and leaned against the railing. i frowned trying to think of something happy to say, knowing he probably wouldn't answer. since this morning he had ignored all of my suggestions and questions, which was unusual for Lucas, being usually energetic and happy. i knew something was wrong, i just didn't know what to say.
"are you okay Lucas?"
Lucas didn't answer but kept looking at his feet. i punched myself mentally. ugh, say something else!
"um... how are you?"
nothing. gaaaaah!!!! i put duct tape over my mouth mentally. shut up. he obviousley doesnt want to talk. i looked around while eating another chip. what if he doesnt talk to me for the rest of the year? i froze and stared down at the chili. while i thought this mar liz came over and talked to lucas. he reussered her he was fine and she laughed saying she dident believe him and that he could talk to her anytime. she walked away then, and i kept thinking. what if he really does hate me? its true i would be used to it by now but i loved being his friend so much and loved him. no. i shook my head. he would never abandon me! he wouldnt totally ignore me or move to another state on purpose...
my stomache started to ache. my head was getting dizzy. suddenly the chips werent so satisfying as i thought they were before. i got up and tried not to trip on my, now, untied shoes. avery liked to untie my shoes when she was bored. i walked back into kates room, feeling sick. i threw away the rest of the chips and chili. kate looked over at me from talking to one of the other students. "your going to trip if you dont tie your shoes!"
i nodded and sat down.after a few seconds of sitting i turned and tied my shoes, and then walked toward the computer. i sat down and turned on the computer. as it was turning on, i thought about my father. how long had it been since i last saw him? i swallowed and tryed to shake of the memory, but couldnt. 5, 7 months? i sighed and sighned in.
"hey Lucas! why don't you join me and Avery?"
he looked up from his long curly brown hair. his big brown eyes looked at me for a moment and then away quickly. he turned and walked into the commons, his hand in his black sweatshirt pockets. i shrugged mentally and sat in the rocking chair. Avery sat across from me her curly amber/brown hair bouncing. i looked at her and thought about lucas's strange behavior.
"hey do you know whats wrong with lucas?"
avery shrugged,"i dont know..."
i sighed and thought out loud,"maybe he hates me..."
avery frowned and shook her head,"no he doesnt!"
i looked down and shrugged muttering "it wouldnt be the first time..."
i crossed my legs and started to eat my chili and chips. the spices and beans, swirled in my mouth, the chips crunching and the salt exploding with flavor and then the taste of corn. yummy. i ate some more and saw Lucas sit down ,a couple steps away from Avery, and leaned against the railing. i frowned trying to think of something happy to say, knowing he probably wouldn't answer. since this morning he had ignored all of my suggestions and questions, which was unusual for Lucas, being usually energetic and happy. i knew something was wrong, i just didn't know what to say.
"are you okay Lucas?"
Lucas didn't answer but kept looking at his feet. i punched myself mentally. ugh, say something else!
"um... how are you?"
nothing. gaaaaah!!!! i put duct tape over my mouth mentally. shut up. he obviousley doesnt want to talk. i looked around while eating another chip. what if he doesnt talk to me for the rest of the year? i froze and stared down at the chili. while i thought this mar liz came over and talked to lucas. he reussered her he was fine and she laughed saying she dident believe him and that he could talk to her anytime. she walked away then, and i kept thinking. what if he really does hate me? its true i would be used to it by now but i loved being his friend so much and loved him. no. i shook my head. he would never abandon me! he wouldnt totally ignore me or move to another state on purpose...
my stomache started to ache. my head was getting dizzy. suddenly the chips werent so satisfying as i thought they were before. i got up and tried not to trip on my, now, untied shoes. avery liked to untie my shoes when she was bored. i walked back into kates room, feeling sick. i threw away the rest of the chips and chili. kate looked over at me from talking to one of the other students. "your going to trip if you dont tie your shoes!"
i nodded and sat down.after a few seconds of sitting i turned and tied my shoes, and then walked toward the computer. i sat down and turned on the computer. as it was turning on, i thought about my father. how long had it been since i last saw him? i swallowed and tryed to shake of the memory, but couldnt. 5, 7 months? i sighed and sighned in.
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