journal 2

i walked over to the stair's, edging toward the rocking chair. i saw Lucas and smiled.
"hey Lucas! why don't you join me and Avery?"
he looked up from his long curly brown hair. his big brown eyes looked at me for a moment and then away quickly. he turned and walked into the commons, his hand in his black sweatshirt pockets. i shrugged mentally and sat in the rocking chair. Avery sat across from me her curly amber/brown hair bouncing. i looked at her and thought about lucas's strange behavior.
"hey do you know whats wrong with lucas?"
avery shrugged,"i dont know..."
i sighed and thought out loud,"maybe he hates me..."
avery frowned and shook her head,"no he doesnt!"
i looked down and shrugged muttering "it wouldnt be the first time..."
i crossed my legs and started to eat my chili and chips. the spices and beans, swirled in my mouth, the chips crunching and the salt exploding with flavor and then the taste of corn. yummy. i ate some more and saw Lucas sit down ,a couple steps away from Avery, and leaned against the railing. i frowned trying to think of something happy to say, knowing he probably wouldn't answer. since this morning he had ignored all of my suggestions and questions, which was unusual for Lucas, being usually energetic and happy. i knew something was wrong, i just didn't know what to say.
"are you okay Lucas?"
Lucas didn't answer but kept looking at his feet. i punched myself mentally. ugh, say something else!
"um... how are you?"
nothing. gaaaaah!!!! i put duct tape over my mouth mentally. shut up. he obviousley doesnt want to talk. i looked around while eating another chip. what if he doesnt talk to me for the rest of the year? i froze and stared down at the chili. while i thought this mar liz came over and talked to lucas. he reussered her he was fine and she laughed saying she dident believe him and that he could talk to her anytime. she walked away then, and i kept thinking. what if he really does hate me? its true i would be used to it by now but i loved being his friend so much and loved him. no. i shook my head. he would never abandon me! he wouldnt totally ignore me or move to another state on purpose...
my stomache started to ache. my head was getting dizzy. suddenly the chips werent so satisfying as i thought they were before. i got up and tried not to trip on my, now, untied shoes. avery liked to untie my shoes when she was bored. i walked back into kates room, feeling sick. i threw away the rest of the chips and chili. kate looked over at me from talking to one of the other students. "your going to trip if you dont tie your shoes!"
i nodded and sat down.after a few seconds of sitting i turned and tied my shoes, and then walked toward the computer. i sat down and turned on the computer. as it was turning on, i thought about my father. how long had it been since i last saw him? i swallowed and tryed to shake of the memory, but couldnt. 5, 7 months? i sighed and sighned in.